She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize