i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
