Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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