We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
