he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
