I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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