You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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