she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
