I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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