Swine flu. Run for my life!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
