Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
