I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
