just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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