so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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