I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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