There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
