We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
