New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
