Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
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