I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
