I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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