Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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