Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
