C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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