It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so let's talk penis.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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