I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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