At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
