So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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