Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
