I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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