Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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