Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
