ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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