I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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