i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't deserve a penis
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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