Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
D3 body, D1 cock
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
