I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
