I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize