If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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