i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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