This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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