let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize