Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
