Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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