We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
