guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
id be glad to
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
