Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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