the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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