that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize