she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
