you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize