I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
