Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You coming home soon, man?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.