Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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