areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
