he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been