people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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