Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits