I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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