We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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