absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
