you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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