Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
