You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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