My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
