Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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