you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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